Bitter description

You are dead to me, the storybook fantasies. How stupid you make others be. The fact that people have this idea of what you may be. It's atrocious, the way it makes some people ferocious. It's wicked, painful and deceitful. When you don't work, you make the hate come out in people. The shit I went through to find you, when I was young, but instead I had to bite my tongue. Cause I never found you and you never found me. It seems that we push away any compatibility. The ugly is what comes out if you ever walk through the door. I'd rather not be held up on a pedestal, I'd rather be pressed against the floor. People always think of shit so sweetly, why don't you just work independently? All you are is needy, greedy, too giving or try too hard. And for what? Just so you can let down your guard? I break my walls down on my own time, I don't need you to make considerations or tell me that I'm a swine. So be it, sorry I don't believe in all your bullshit. And that your followers are hopeless, my call in life isn't to make you my accomplice--in life. My call is to survive without depriving, I'm striving, hiding, diving--into the depths where u couldn't hear a soul cry, my call is to always keep my head above and never ever give a mother fuck about love.

Untitled poem

The Game of Life...

Isn’t it obvious?! We all know when you don’t take action you have no voice! But even then, first come first served, and you know what I mean.. you’re condemned even when you approach a situation first! They say be up front then they say stand down. When will they make up their minds? But, what I have always said is just let them win. It really isn’t worth the fight. You are wrong they are right. It is the government, its a conspiracy. If you’re strong you better start being weak, that’s the only way you know you’re stronger than them. Sounds funny, but sometimes letting it go is the same as fighting them maybe even stronger, is just walking away.. but we’ll never know… But that’s how you play the game of life, you know?

Check me out on Tumblr!

restrictedbeauty

Check me out!

And now...

The damn birds are chirping now what? It is 5:25am now.... no rest. My brain, my heart, and my body hurts.

How is it..

I can smile so big but I am hiding so much? Just happens huh?

Amazing that I feel this way

Well it isn't very amazing actually, I ruin everything with a human being that I get close to.. I basically kill my relationships may as well call me Rogue (X-men). Trying to change is my problem, just simply pushing away those who want to help me... Is way better.